CasualtyOfWar's avatar

CasualtyOfWar

I'm a dying breed
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Years ago, I was a young man trying my best as I joined the military. I believed I wouldn't see past my 23rd birthday. I was not alone but alone at the same time, for a very long time. I thought this would be the end of my story. I accepted my fate to be just another number. A statistic that will be used to either argue for or against people. I figured that I would finally have redemption for my perceived wrongs that I committed.


Fast forward to today. I've lived past my expected expiration date. So much has happened and hopefully so much more. I continue to serve but in a different capacity. I'm still hated by others by the uniforms I wear and not by the content of my character or my deeds. I'll be a father soon. Something I never expected would happen in my life time. I do not feel as empty any more. But a new anxiety has crept into me. I do not feel the same brokenness that I did as a young man. I've seen life and death right in front of me. I've seen sorrow, anger, and hatred on many a face. I've held sons and daughters, bruised, hurt, and dying. I feel I've lost much more than I have before.


But I can't give up. Not yet.


I'm not calling for help anymore.

No one is coming. It's up to us.

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I don't know what to say exactly: that I'm back, but I never truly left.

I have a major life change going on and I'd like some tips or pointers on this matter.
I'm out of the Army now, honorably, and now I don't know what to do with myself...
I guess what I'm saying is... That I don't know what my purpose is anymore.
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To All of You

2 min read
First, Let me start by saying thank you to all of you who replied and provided me advice to my predicament earlier. I find it funny for a "non-combat deployment" (I say that because there's always Russia and Syria on the doorstep) This has been a very rough couple of months. I won't recap about the events, but again, I just wanted to say thank you to you all. Thank You for sticking by me, even when I haven't been as active as I used to be. Looking back from where I started to where I am now... Well let's just say there's still some more mountains to climb. I'm glad to have met you all, both here and in person. I hope to actually meet you all someday and give you at least a handshake or a hug(which sounds like I'm being a total creeper...great) You all mean a lot to me. No I'm not going away, just feeling a bit sentimental and wanted to just give an actual heart felt Thank You.

To those that I've lost track of or have moved on. Know that I haven't forgotten you either. I know you may never get this... But I still think of all of you and wish you well wherever you are...


Stay Safe... All of you
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A Trp 1-13 CAV

1 min read
I like this unit a little bit better than my old one. At least out here they want their guys getting as much training as possible. That's good news, that's even better news for me. Even though I'm in the exact same position I was in at my old unit, I am getting more hands on time training and some more trigger time than I've had in all my time with the Army. BRM (Basic Rifle Marksmanship/ qualification) went off without a hitch, aced that with only 2 flyers for a total of 38 out of 40. Just finished a bit of SRM/ ARM (Short Range Marksmanship and Advanced Rifle Marksmanship) though we didn't get too much into ARM. 48 out of 50. not bad again, and always room for improvement. So other than that I've been doing alright here. Hope you all have been doing well too. Too bad this unit will be disbanded... Ah well.
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Late Update

1 min read
Hey all. This is going to be a bit late, but I'm deployed. No where dangerous, I'm out in Jordan. Actually stuck in Kuwait waiting for a plane to take us over to Jordan. So in the mean time, I've got internet. Hope y'all are doing well. 
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Featured

Questions and answers by CasualtyOfWar, journal

To All of You by CasualtyOfWar, journal

A Trp 1-13 CAV by CasualtyOfWar, journal

Late Update by CasualtyOfWar, journal

Deployment Denied by CasualtyOfWar, journal